All of our content is downloadable to whatever the most recent form of technology is because this is fucking America.

Yes we charge a submission fee because our time is probably worth more than yours, and again, this is America, land of the credit card. Pay up.

We will take a certain number of submissions each reading period, read half of them, and then publish our friends anyway.

We will send you one-sentence feedback stating the real, actual reason we didn’t accept your work, such as:

“I saw the title and in the vast pile, yours looked depressingly boring.”

or

“Hey, you probably have something there, but you used a grocer’s apostrophe and I just wasn’t having it today.”

or

“I’d publish this, but if anyone is going to get published for writing about my exes, it’s me.”

We basically started this mag because we think McSweeney’s is a big fat sellout and we hate the Paris Review for still living in the stone age and only taking paper submissions.

This magazine is all about stroking our own egos and amusing ourselves, so fuck off if you don’t like it.